I realize I am not a competent blogger, and after a couple of attempts it has become apparent that blogging is not my calling.
And yet, I blog.
Perhaps its an internal fear of not writing something clever enough for people to enjoy. Maybe that same fear that keeps me quiet and listening in a crowd rather than life of the party is the one that keeps my creative juices flowing. Perhaps I just need to think more.
A question was presented the other night: what is it about yourself that you are currently changing your mind about it? I was supposed to answer it, and at first I knew what it was, but now I'm not so sure. I tend to talk about change a lot. I like the idea of change of moving on. I thought I was turning into someone who was capable of change. I sincerely thought that this was it! But when I am put face to face with changes I should be making, I push change away. I rationalize and I want to continue on the path I've been following for some time.
So bottom line: I am a hypocrite and you probably shouldn't listen to what I say. Although I may say some encouraging things or give inspiring and clever and smart advice, I don't listen to half the things that come out of my mouth.
But I don't think I'm alone in this, and that is the comforting to me. I know there are other people in this world and in my little sphere of existence that have these tendencies, and perhaps we are getting better. I know I'm trying.
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