How to get a job--a six step process:
1. Complain about not having a real job.
2. Apply to every job you can think of.
3. Apply to the jobs you never thought of but eventually did because you already applied to all the other jobs you thought of first (like over 70).
4. Complain some more about not having a real job or having any interviews.
5. Write a blog post venting your frustrations with not having a real job.
6. Apply to a completely random job someone told you about at a clinical research facility, get a call back the next day, an interview the next day and a job offer for a full-time position the next day.
Done and done.
Bottom line: I have a real job. I start on Monday. It only took 3 months of solid complaining and a lot a lot a lot of hard work.
There's hope for me after all.