hoje retornei pra meu juventude.

Today I went through what was left of my childhood and subsequent teen and young adult life. Mementos. I love mementos and I keep everything. I have every handout from every class or activity that I have ever been too. I have movie ticket stubs, plane ticket stubs, museum ticket stubs. I have pictures. I learned that I have journal entries dating back to 1993--I was seven--to the present day and they fill an entire box (I'm afraid/determined to look at them in the next couple of days). I have dolls--even the ones that I so cruelly mistreated and gave horrible haircuts and dye jobs to; I have my mother's dolls from the 60's, with outfits my grandmother made for them. I have ponies and bears and puppies and, yes, I have Beany Babies. I have every note I have have ever taken in every class I have ever attended. I have every card ever written to me. I have every school paper I have ever written. I have vocab words. I have pennies from the 50's. I have pesos from the 50's. I have heirloom jewelry. I have baby clothes. I have a lot of things.

I threw most of it away. No, really. MOST of it. I filled a huge black, drawstring garbage bag full of stuff and put it out to the trash.

I don't need to keep notes from school.

I don't need to keep the birthday cards signed by distant relatives for my 9th birthday.

I don't need ticket stubs. I don't.

According to my eight year old self, I wanted to live on the beach next to a jungle with lots of animals in it. I wanted to swim with dolphins daily.

I used to write poems--POEMS--about love, flowers, the wind and trees when I was eleven.

I read, voraciously, weird books like the Bronte sisters books, classics like Anne of Green Gables and Nancy Drew. I kept lists of all the books I have ever read.

I was a driven, self-confident, attention-seeking, creative little human.

I found out that I liked to set goals for myself a lot, especially long-term ones. I probably found 3 or 4 lists that were supposed to be what/where I wanted to be in the future, including a time capsule one I wrote in September, 2000. I opened it today, five months late. Just an FYI on that: I have studied abroad, I have been to Italy, I have served a mission, I have learned another language, I have graduated college. I have not gotten married and I do not have three kids.

(REALLY??? THREE??? When did my past self think I would find the time to do all that and still somehow have three babies by age 24???)